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Grief is a funny thing

When I lost my husband 2 years ago I never really dealt with it. My head has been buried in the sand - deeply buried in the sand. Now I am grieving for him and for me. There are so many things that seem to be wrong with my life. The hardest thing for me was admitting that I am depressed while trying to work through the stages of my grief.
In my culture we don't acknowledge depression and never really reach out to others for help. Life happens and you deal with it.
Now I am trying to work on everything but I get so frustrated. I can be a bit of a drama queen so I feel like I want to change all my numbers and give the world a big f*** you.
Do you ever have so much you want to say but its all running around in your head and you don't know where to start.
Well today I am starting by acknowledging my depression. I am depressed and I will work on fixing it. I am not happy with my life and the people in it so I will work on changing that.
Today my journey begins.. wish me well.

Memories

Soon it will be one year since my husband passed away. I know I haven't really dealt with it yet but ....
Everyone says oh you're so strong, but I can't be anything else. I have a son who depends on me so I have to be there for him. I am thankful that God has been providing for us and I have some good friends to help me through it.
I miss you Steven, where ever you may be.

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When

So I'm in London spending my time exploring the city.  I swear you could take years to truly explore. I don't think there is a more beautiful city in the world. Trying to come to terms with the loss of my husband and being a single parent. I tell all my friends now, all make sure you have a plan b because you never know.

Writer's Block: Chicken soup

A hot toddy made with overproof rum, then wrap up in a blanket and sweat it out.
What are you most thankful for?

Writer's Block: Saints and sinners

If you found a wad of cash on the ground, would you keep it? Donate it? Take it to the police?

That's a tough one. I think I would take it to the police because my conscience would eat at me otherwise.

Falling in love all over again

RL has been kicking my butt lately. When that happens I like to retreat into some good slash and just forget everything. Decided to revisit Scott and Logan fanfiction from the xmen movie verse.

Recently read Gains and Losses and Chains and Choices Lara Bee and Macx. I really like the characterisations in this story. I find that I don't like when stories portray Logan as unintelligent and simple. This story has them discovering each other and both getting to be strong men. At the end when Logan starts recovering his memory he's multi-lingual and musical. Sigh.....
Made me fall in love with this pairing all over again.
If you're interested, check them out and let me know what you think.



http://home.arcor.de/larabee/xmen/gainslosses.html
http://home.arcor.de/larabee/xmen/chains.html

Writer's Block: Let freedom ring

How do you celebrate Independence Day in your country?

By doing absolutely nothing and enjoying the fact that I have the freedom to do so
If you had to go an entire week without TV, music, or your mobile phone, which would you choose, and why?

I would say my celll phone. I rarely use it so I definitely wouldn't miss it. I love my music too much and I think I would go crazy if I couldn't listem to any for a week,